I wish…

I’d been wanting to post something for a long time. Sadly, it seemed like I just ran out of topics to post about. And a few days back, a friend asked me why I wasn’t posting any more and I realized this was it. I had to post something. Apparently the reason I’d been experiencing a writer’s block was that there were a few things I hadn’t come to terms with..and I felt like I had to post about them. But that would mean getting back at some people and that wouldn’t be a nice thing to do. Finally I got them cleared and here I am on the verge of another rant.

I just seem to be so busy these days. I barely get time off. I long for those good old days when my whole responsibility was getting to college on time, rushing home in the evenings… with a little bit of studying in between if possible.

I have learned to manage my time quite effectively so that I do get a little bit of time for spending with people who care for me. But things get quite tough when you work for literally 24 hours a day, for 7 days a week. You just don’t have any time left for yourself in the end. And I really need to rethink about my life if I end up going to work straight out of the hospital where I got admitted in when I got sick.

Life’s getting fast paced. We  have to move along with it. I concede. Is it always going to be like this? Wish everything would  just slow down a bit. I want one whole day all to myself.. Want to sleep in late, want to spend time with my mom, friends, my choir, my??? my keyboard..my blog..But now it all seems like a mere imagination. Just a futile day dream. Or sometimes even a nightmare of which I’m scared that I might never escape.  It isn’t as if I don’t like this new world I’m in, rather I don’t want this to be permanent. Something isn’t quite right when you’re in the middle of Madagascar 3 and you end up getting a call from work. And it isn’t even your working hours.

People in the metro seem to be used to the adrenaline rush and the stress of everyday work here. They can’t seem to tolerate it when things slow down. I don’t want to become like one of them. I don’t want to become a workaholic. I want to work as well as have time for the things & people I love. Is it so wrong to ask for?

I think this rant was pretty much selfish, but somehow I’m feeling quite lost at this moment. I’m not stressed, but I’m not exactly ‘alive, alert, awake, enthusiastic’ either. Wish I could do something about it..

Not quite the end of this post.. but..wonder why..